We’re All the Same

An Interview with Stephen Edwards

By Mirren Edwards

Stephen Edwards is an art director. Growing up in Scotland’s countryside, he learned to be independent. He loved literature. His job took him from Scotland to LA to San Francisco. He is the most caring person I know and would do anything to make me happy. He is always super helpful towards everyone else, even if it means he doesn't get lots of time to himself. You can always tell how much he loves his family. He has shown me that I should always be my own person and never change myself for anyone. 

How did you grow up? What were some struggles you had to deal with? 

I moved from the city to the country when I was pretty young. I had three siblings. We were very close. My parents separated just before middle school, and so my mother had to bring us up. She was kind of overwhelmed and not very present. I spent a lot of my time out in the countryside, playing with my siblings. But when you're young, you don't worry too much. That experience probably helped me appreciate of the quality of possessions rather than quantity. It taught me that I would always be able to do things. I became very self-reliant, but there were still other things I had to overcome, like finding my voice and not being embarrassed. 

Who did you look up to as a kid? 

Most of the people I looked up to were characters in movies, in literature, in comics. They weren’t superheroes. The first one I remember is Indiana Jones. He was smart and capable, but he was also human. He can do everything, but he kind of stumbles through things. In literature, too, it was the same. I liked that underdog character because I saw myself in them.

Who helped shape who you are today? 

I escaped into literature and movies. In high school, two English teachers pushed me to read different types of books, and I grew up loving to learn things. Then my wife helped me enormously, working on who I was as a person. And of course, my kids. As soon as I had kids, everything about them put my life into perspective and showed me what was important. 

Do you have any regrets in your life? 

I wish I'd kept in touch with friends. It was harder back then. I moved around a lot for work; I moved across the States. I wish that instead of being blinded by ambition and drive, I had spent more time nurturing my relationships. Worrying about things changes nothing, but I would worry and get worked up about issues. I wish I'd been more vocal and more confident in my younger years. It took me a while to crawl out of that shell. I also wish I had spent more time on things that bring me joy and happiness.

What do you wish you could tell you're younger yourself? 

Be more bold and courageous. I was strong in my belief in what I could achieve, but I was swayed a lot by trying to fit in with other people. When you give in to peer pressure, you kind of lose your identity. You get smothered, and you have to re-find it again. Be who you are, and others will like you for that. 

What are your concerns for this next generation? 

Mental health. With all the disinformation across social media, the manipulation and toxicity, those spaces worry me. 

What changes are you glad to see in this generation? 

I like how there is a lot more compassion for one another. When I was younger, people sorted themselves into cliques. It wasn’t too bad for me; I was kind of good at sports, and I had lots of what they would call “nerd friends.” But what I like about this generation is that there are fewer pressures to follow a certain path. You can be in the chess club, you can be great at sports, you can be an artist, and you can have friends all across that space. You're not locked into one group of people. This generation has an optimism, too. They're a lot less cynical than I remember my generation was at the time. 

What do you wish young people would understand? 

I've learned that fame, fortune, and drive to ambition are all very good, but focus on what brings you wealth – friends, family, and community. Learn from the past, don't dwell on it. Don't be scared for the future. Make your voice heard, listen to your emotions, share them, and be honest. It's a source of strength and weakness. 

What advice would you give to an eighth grader? 

Be authentic and treat yourself. People will gravitate towards you because of who you are, not who you're trying to be. Focus your time on what you want to spend it on, and invest in yourself. Continue to grow, challenge yourself, and try new things, but remember, we all stumble and fall at times. Don’t forget to be present and enjoy yourself. 

I was very emotionally reserved as a young person – so express yourself. Let out your joy, your anger, your sadness; it's all healthy, and you will feel so much better, and people will love and appreciate you for it. Be kind and courteous. Help others, especially those in need. Be warm and friendly. Just remember that people are going through the same thing as you. We’re all the same.